NewsFix

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America’s sex laws deal with horses, fish, backdoors and Satan

There’s nothing straight about sex.

It’s something nearly everyone does, but you’re not supposed to talk about it. And how you do it and where are the keys to staying out of trouble.

Like in Bakersfield, Calif., where it’s supposed to be illegal to have unprotected sex with the devil. Kinda makes you wonder where you can buy fireproof condoms. Or not.

In Utah, which is number one in the country for online porn subscriptions, it’s illegal to have oral or backdoor sex of any kind with any person for any reason, which may be why they watch so much of it.

Several states still say it’s okay to have sex with a horse, like in the case of a Florida man who admitted to riding nasty in his neighbor’s barn because the horse reminded him of Sarah Jessica Parker. He got off, in more ways than one, apparently.

Thanks to a couple of Houston guys, sodomy and anal sex are no longer felonies in Louisiana, but you can still spend up to six months in jail for being the backdoor man for a backdoor man.

If you’re a guy in Minnesota, you can`t have sex with a live fish. But there’s apparently nothing wrong with doing it with a dead one. And apparently there is no prohibition against women having sex with fish, alive or dead.

And in Washington, D.C., at least one president would be in big trouble because only the missionary position between a one man and one woman is legal.

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This entry was posted on June 7, 2012 by in NewsFix Now.
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